How to Deal With The Guilt of Ending A Relationship

Things to remember when you are going through a breakup.

Breakups are rough, whether you were the one who was broken up with or if you were the one who initiated it. If you are the one breaking up with your partner, it can become a difficult decision to make, not only because you want to be completely sure that you are making the right choice by leaving, but also because you know that you’re going to unintentionally but inevitable hurt the person that has almost become your second half. While this can be overwhelming and might even make you want to push off the breakup for as long as you can, do keep in mind that there is no good time to break up with someone. If you are absolutely sure that you want to end this relationship, then do it now. Below are some reasons why.

You are miserable and you partner can tell

Depending on how long you have been together, if you and your partner spend a lot of time together, or even live together, it’s going to be incredibly difficult to hide your true feelings about the relationship. If your partner knows you well, they will sense that something is off which will not only make you miserable, but make them miserable too. You may even subconsciously pick fights with your partner, leading to an even messier and more difficult breakup. You may not realize it, but it is very likely that you are acting strange and out of the ordinary, which may be making your partner feel even worse than if you just ended it and allowed them to move on.

You’re wasting their time and your own

If you are confident in your decision to end your relationship, then end it. There is no reason to procrastinate on this to protect your soon to be ex’s feelings. If anything, you are wasting their time that they could have already used to move on and focus on themselves as well as the process of getting over you and the relationship. You are also wasting your own time, knowing that you could be happier outside of this relationship.

Your partner will be hurt and that is something that you will have to deal with and accept. Breakups are never easy and there is no good time to do it. Rip off the bandaid.

They will probably agree in the future

While being broken up with can lead to feelings of unworthiness, insecurity, and depression, these feelings will pass. Depending on your reasons for ending your relationship with your partner, you may feel bad about being the person to hurt them the most and causing them heart ache by breaking up with them. However, keep in mind that those feelings are inevitable and you may even need to prepare yourself for various responses including anger, extreme sadness, and potentially even a scenario in which they will try to guilt you into staying. Once this wave of emotions in them passes, and they have come to terms with the breakup (however long that may take), they will eventually get over it and move on. Chances are that eventually they will even agree with the decision, in which case you may even be able to remain friends in the future.

Guilt is normal, but it’s not your fault

Remember that you can’t help how you feel. Even though at one point you were satisfied in your relationship, it doesn’t mean that it will always be that way. Feelings come and go and whatever made you feel like you need to end this relationship is valid. If you’re not happy anymore then it’s time to move on. Chances are that not only you, but even your partner, will meet someone who works much better for each of you.


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